Last night, after I brushed my hair over the sink, a few of the fallen hairs laid down in the white porcelain in the shape of an ass.
My mother answered the phone on Sunday night. An unfamiliar voice with an unplaceable accent on the other end, complaining to my mother:
"Joo bettah stop joo dotter. She walk pass our house evvy monning and she keek our dog, and now our dog need to go to de vet and get its nose feexed."
My Ex, Totty, used to prank call in a similar manner. She would call my mom at work and ask for impossible things in various accents. Naturally, Mom assumed this was Tot, playing a joke on her. She decided to play along.
"My dog?""No, no, joo dotter! She walk pass and every monning, she keek de dog. Iss gotta stop!"
"Oh, my daughter has been kicking your dog? Well, that's just terrible."
"Jes, joo bettah tell her to stop, or else I'm gonna get her."
"What kind of dog is it?"
"Issa beagle, an' his nose is all mess up. You tell her to stop!"
"Oh, well, why don't you bring the dog over, I have lots of tools in the basement, I can surely fix your dog's nose."
"Okay, I breeng him over to joo house, 6 o' clock."
"Okay, fine, goodbye!"
My mother walks out of the house, sure that Tot is sitting in her Red Truck right outside the house, cracking up into her cellphone. Tot is nowhere to be seen.
And I'm not so fond of beagles, but I would never kick one in the nose unprovoked.
There's the hat, in all its glory.
I spent the evening smelling all the new old perfumes my mother has acquired via eBay. She is obsessed with French perfumes from the 20s. I always thought that perfumes go bad after a while, but apparently not. She had one bottle that must have been over 70 years old, and the stuff still smelled marvelous. She is thoroughly obsessed- she has a small file box with alphabetical cards. Each perfume has its own card, with the date of origin, the company that made it, and a detailed list of all the notes that made up the scent. She would make me smell each one and try to identify any of the notes. 'Jasmine? Amber. ooh, leather.'
I had a sneezing fit from all the smells, but it was worth it.
11:16 a.m. - 2003-10-07
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